Gas Station Pizza


Eating gas station pizza remembering the night.

She touches her lips, swollen and ruby red.

Mouth to mouth, breathless babe.

Passionate kisses souls connect.

Will you remember her, babe?

“He’s so tall and handsome as hell, is so bad, but he does it so well.”

Tight pants and comfortable dreams.

You will do anything for her, babe.

Working on her best Jackie impression being a Marilyn all her life.

Even if she never sees you again even if this was their only chance thank you, babe.

The Nightwing to her Starfire.

Don’t worry most of you won’t get that he said.

You say they have nothing on her, all the princesses can’t beat the queen.

Wildest Dreams, remember that, babe.

Pot to Pieces


Oh my what happened.. can you clarify?

Is the love for a moment cancelled?

Oh my, me…I should have trusted me

Should have asked more questions
Or no questions asked

I thought I understood, silly me

Thought there was a connection a suggestion.

No me, no you, no we

Fine, we’re good we’re great, I thought I understood.

The moment passed

Laugh, smile good, crase

As the day lasts, the figure fades

Look at the sky, wonder why

That’s cool, no matter, no care

I thought I understood, just hurt too good

-Heather Lombardo

Learn from my Stupidity and take Uber or Lyft or call your Mama!


Scared Straight Essay – from a 34 year old woman

Driving home from a Cavs game in a bitterly cold Cleveland at 1:30am. That is how this all started, my one encounter with the law.

Many of us make a choice and no matter what WE make the choice to get behind a wheel after a beer or two. Sometimes it is many more, for this story it was just a couple.  I am a slight woman, 5’3 about 125 give or take a few and I don’t drink often either, well not anymore. Watching basketball is extremely gratifying for me, because unlike baseball…I get it. Lebron James throwing the chalk, Kyrie with the 3 pointers and well everything about Love and Thompson. It was my first game of the season, great seats and better company. Two beers down and the game was over, we beat Michael Jordan’s team. Hollering in the streets ensued, taunting Hornet’s fans, because that is what we do in Cleveland. Going to a bar for one more wet of the whistle, sit to talk shop and being the wingman for a few friends. I sat gulping water for the next few hours contemplating if I should use my free Uber ride. Finally, feeling like the hassle of coming back downtown and not sure if the spot I parked at was illegal or not made up my mind. I got in the car and started driving home.

Barbara blaring and singing at the top of my lungs is tradition while driving home, so when in the middle of “When eyes meet eyes” my stomach growls to the point that it drowns me out I take notice. I am almost home and for what reason I still can’t explain I decided that I will turn around in someone’s driveway for a taco bell run, because man…a crunch wrap supreme is just so glorious. Next thing I know since I live in an amazing city that turns into a strange Alaskan tundra at times, I was stuck in a snowdrift from hell.

A few expletives later and I am outside the car looking at my tires pinned in the rock hard snow. Never will I know how to get this out drunk or sober. When I see a car pull up and it is one of my cities friendly police officers I was relieved, but wait…I smell, I always do. I have this weird thing that happens when I even have a sip of an alcoholic beverage, the smell permeates out of my pores or something. The officer asked me what was going on and from a distance away it seemed like he was just going to push me out, but then he came closer. He asked me how much I had to drink that night…I told him and he started with the tests

Can you count backwards from 53 to 18? Done

Can you follow my pen? Done

Can you walk a straight line backwards and forwards? Done

I felt like I passed, but he said Ma’am you smell of alcohol, so I am taking you into custody for suspicion of driving under the influence.

Holy Shit…I hadn’t worn handcuffs officially before, just for play and I like them, but in this scenario not so much.

He snapped them so tight and the cold steel combined with the frigid temperature had me shaking or was that my nerves?

I knew enough just to keep my mouth just, but this guy was just badgering me. The officer was grabbing my arm extremely firm and was really impatient. He sat me down at the tiny office that was attached to the drunk tank that I stared at with distain. The CO in the “jail” was very nice and tried to make it easier for me, seeing that I was scared. My arresting officer on the other had was making fun of me and the other gentlemen in the room. My jail friend had the most beautiful tattoos and just moved here from Washington State. He was clearly high and we spoke about trails to hike and he reminisced about the beauty of his birth state. Jeff was there because of a chick who ended up dumping him the night before. Women are such bitches sometimes.

Anyway, I was still handcuffed because my arresting officer wanted to teach me a lesson and wouldn’t even let me put on my coat in negative weather while in the “jail”. The CO was so nice…I think he didn’t want to fuel the fire by disagreeing. Jeff was done with his breathalyzer and was arrested after hitting a .0087 the legal limit here is .008 the CO said he could recommend that they let poor Jeff go, but nope mucho man said he was going in (his words, BTW) complete with a smile. Bye, bye Jeff

I was next, I blew on that thing like my life depended on it, but guess what! If you are having a panic attack and getting yelled at by a douche bag saying things like “What if your kids were in the car?” I needed to stop and say back “why in the world would my kids be in the car at 1:30am?” “I drive a blue minivan and the last time I got a ticket was 10 years ago, chill out” mind you I was saying this in a polite manner. Good lord, these little towns must not see too much action. I was so upset, after 17 tries I was told I refused and would get 1 yr. of license suspension.

They let me call a few people…My brother was too drunk to come get me, my bestie didn’t answer, and I called my mommy “Mommy, I need you to bail me out…” “What? Are you serious? I’m coming right now”

They took my phone and shoes gave me a blanket and put me in a room decorated nicely with steel and a toilet.

I waited there…one by one other girls joined me, 5 in total. We all had different stories, but at that moment we were criminals. Some girls were crying others were pissed and screaming at the door. I stayed quiet, thinking about how great of a show it would be to have a camera in here with all of us, because it was nuts and we were all good looking chicks…next reality show Hollywood!!!

So my mommy came and saved me.

I took the next steps, got a lawyer and he was great.

Fast forward, I was told by my wonderful lawyer that I SHOULD go to “the weekend” aka hotel hell. He highly recommended it…ok, ok I get it.

I packed, crying the whole time, kissed my babies and left my warm home.

Walking in I was told to sit in a room with what it seemed like 100 people, they were going to be my forced friends for the weekend. One was shaking, a couple where drunk and I can’t even place what was going on with a few.

37 that was my group 37 souls who made a mistake or in some cases several. We will always be united, together we stand. Really, we just watched each other cry. All weekend in one form or another we cried for 72 hours. Now let me remind you that I had a totality of 3 alcoholic beverages. Some of these poor people walked into this withdrawing from alcohol, heroin, and prescription pills. The weekend was geared toward the people with real problems, addictions that took their life away, they hit rock bottom and I had to stand up and lessen their fight telling my story of woe about my trip to taco bell gone wrong? I am not even sure I have actually seen cocaine…one time at a party there was a stack of white powder on a table, but let’s get real it was mostly likely powdered sugar from the cookie party they had the night before…because that is how I lived! I went to goddamn cookie parties…not saying I didn’t have a somewhat fucked up existence, but really I wasn’t into drugs. Pot made me hungry and tired, which I am already hungry and tired, so amplifying that didn’t really make sense.

Getting back, I won’t go into detail about the weekend, but it did show me that I am lucky to have the support I do. A lot of my new weekend friends were very young and their parents were unstable, addicts themselves or totally non-existent. I also learned so much about what having an addiction to a substance can mean, they spoke about waking the monster inside and that that monster was always waiting for its host to mess up, feel depressed, be alone. Really sad and a true illness that most just see as pathetic.

I left the weekend with a puffy face and a renewed sense of self. Then I had to wait for my final court appearance. Shit I had to go in front of a judge, they had to evaluate me as a person. Have I been good enough that they will be lenient? I didn’t sleep the night before, I got up and put on my suit that has done wonders for my sales recently. I waited outside hearing my lawyer plead my case. Shit they called my name, my heart was beating so loud I synchronized my steps to drown it out.

Judge: Heather Lombardo, it is upon serious examination that you did try use the breathalyzer, yet it just was not effective. You have an outstanding personal record and your counselor feels strongly that you will never do anything like this again. Plus your lawyer has assured me that you completed the weekend about driving safety and you learned many valuable lessons, he also mentioned you have two children that you would never want to leave again. Do you have anything to add?

Oh my God I think I stopped breathing completely while he was talking.

Heather: (Huge breath in) Yes, your honor. I will always have a safe and reliable form of transportation if I ever decide I will drink again. Which, I feel won’t be anytime soon.

Judge: Well, your stars aligned and you are very lucky with what you received, you should thank your lawyer. Stay away from those snow drifts. Next!

I walked out, I looked at my amazing lawyer and hugged him so tight I think I hurt him. Man, I love lawyers. I don’t want to go into details of charges, because my case was very weird and there were A LOT of ifs. Let’s just say I can still get into Canada, no problem.

Statistically, over half of the people I suffered through hotel hell with will be arrested again for similar charges, because the odds are against them. I know eventually I will have a couple great drinking nights, because I am not an alcoholic or addicted to drugs and I have no reservations saying that. I don’t need them to have a good time, wake up or go to sleep.

The big revelation from this experience was the treatment I received from the police. Being a good citizen, I was treated in a very demeaning manner for zero purpose. The arresting officer just wanted me to feel below him and for what? I had the extremely nice side of the baton, but there are so many stories about the unnecessary police brutality that ends in violence. We need to end the police mentality that they can do no wrong. I am not saying all police are that way. I believe that out of 100, 2-5 have this elite perception of themselves and that is poison.


Not Proud, but Wiser



Exhausting power of a person’s mind without a thought

The tempestuous words without being spoke

Short trust, short fuse, singled out

Love is bountiful, always present, always there

Dealing with loss that you never knew was gone, never knew was wrong

Whispering secrets, all parties are not invited

You must bring your invitation, the king’s wax seal.

Is it you, is it me, is it we? Thoughts of she

Shhhh, take my dirt, I am hurt

Never mind the silly, just wounded

It is good though, it is fine

Don’t breathe beneath me

                            -Heather Lombardo

Rest in Peace Aylan and Rihan



I am heartbroken over these little baby brothers that were found dead on the shore. Our world is full of madness, I know.

This just hit me hard because I have two daughters the same age difference.
Also, I almost drowned at 16, pulled out of the water unconscious. It was the most terrifying experience and to know these little ones went through it together because of senseless politics and stupidity is sicking.

I pray that we all see a light…we all learn


from tragedies like this. Preventable death of the innocent. I pray people in power stop thinking of agenda and what THEY deem is righteous and see that making a difference has nothing to fucking do with donkeys and elephants, but souls.

It is all very soapbox, sure.

I just know that I will pledge my strength to helping kids. That is my start…whether it is America, Syria, Taiwan or my own home.

I want my daughters and their children to look back at history and say…what a brutal existence our ancestors lived in, thank you to them for leaving it in our past. What comes to us naturally is out of our control, so let’s make sure our children are educated enough to know the difference.

I realize crime will never end, but maybe it can be paralyzed.




You are mine, I own you

We bleed together, shedding life

Being with me every step, through thick and thin

I love you, I know you

You are a part of who I am, although you don’t define me

The reasons my life has meaning came from you, my blessing I give

I will always protect you, my sacred gift

Never third always first, the best

Knowing when you are hurt frightens, can thrill me

Wars are fought for your attention, dying for your affection

Be still and wait my precious, you will be loved by me soon

Enter into your warmth, desires met

A slick donation is given to me, I thank you

The tingles you create, goosebumps cover my body

Acceleration leads to exhilaration, ecstasy the pay off

Breath deep, release

You are mine

– Heather Lombardo 



A whole new world
They say
Dreamed on countless nights
One love, one soul
The blessing of three
Intense moments begot intense reaction
Coming to share, to fill a need
Try to Bi to Triple to Three
What does it mean, where do you go
Deep love awakened, the beauty, the beast
Love is all things right? In every meaning
Finally seeing the world through a kaleidoscope
Perfect prisms of rainbow color, hiding the dark spots of reality
Learning, sharing, not too much, not too little
But where are the lines drawn in the sand?
Like acrobats swinging on a trapeze, you must not take the wrong step
Who says what or why or where or how
Does it even matter?
Love is love
Love is a gift
Love can lose

– Heather Lombardo

Ode to Men


The smell of your skin and the taste of your lips, men.

Musky like whiskey. Tender yet callused at the edges.

The strength of your arms around us, men.

Feels safe, secure, a stones throw from malice.

You could snap us.

Like a twig, be your puppet but we trust you, men.

The coarse hair you grow mends the soft skin we glow.

Hands that touch, bringing us to ecstasy can crash our larynx in a moment, men.

Your speech, constant consideration lure us.

The jealousy can be titillating until you get mental and we leave you be, men.

Cavemen instincts floating at your surface.

We the gatherers the epicenter of life.
You the hunters and the seed, men.

The most basic of us and we fit together.

You’ll protect us, no matter.

I thank you, men.

                           – Heather Lombardo


If you Want Me Baby


You catch the curves of my lips and the swing of my hips, baby

I glide towards you in a sea of strangers, they study me like a restaurant lunch board.

My devotion, lies with you as I pass the starving, baby. 

My laughter reels you in, fingertips tracing the outline of your chin.

Staring directly into your eyes when you talk, I’m here for only you baby.

My scent is invading your psyche, I’m designed to seduce you.

You whisper “I want your lips on my lips, I need to have you, I need to be inside you, no other woman compares to you.”

Oh, baby, you want the theory of me, not the real me.

If you really want me baby….

Get my lips tattooed on your wrist and impress me with prose rather than innuendos.

You want to be inside me baby, penetrate me with knowledge, create a base.

To have me? You can’t possess me, you can borrow my time, hour by hour baby.

Compare me, it’s okay, women are beautiful. They don’t intimidate me baby, they empower me.

What’s the real me you ask? Oh baby, it is so much better than the character you chase.

-Heather Lombardo

Watch “Chris Rock white girls” laugh and read my thoughts


I shared this, because one it is hilarious and two…it is true.

As a white woman, especially a curvy one. The lure of our submission is legendary.

The first time I realized my power was at 14…yeah 14. I saw this older black guy at the mall, I batted my eyes, not even sure what I was doing. He followed me and asked for my number…I gave him some bullshit sequence and never thought about it again. Well that was easy.

I grew up in a pretty colorless town, but driving 12 miles took me to different worlds. HOUGH, Denison Ave, West Park etc. It was a surprising reality. I was a prize to be won…it was alluring. I never gave in because I was a good catholic girl, but it was noticeable and it let me hoon my skills. Often called a tease, but I didn’t care. I was told if I smiled at a man, my certain way…I could get whatever I wanted. I don’t, I reserve that smile for love.

On to the point, please stop reading if you get offended easily.
White women are raised by European moms or women raised by European moms. Remember us white folk only took this country by force a couple hundred years ago and the real immigration boom was at the end of the 19th and beginning of the 20th centuries. Women’s liberation truly began in the 60s, so the old country hasn’t left our blood.
Our European moms and grandma’s always did what their husband said…we aren’t a matriarchal culture. Women are to be seen and not heard, keep your opinions to yourself, keep your husband happy and supported no matter what. I’m gonna share something personal, but it is honest. I haven’t passed gas in public ever, bodily functions and talking about that stuff is off limits especially with a man, sinful!
Not that they weren’t incredibly, loving, sweet, honorable women. We are just breed to be dominated. Period

I of course say all of this as a broad statement. I have met all different types of ladies from all segments of personality. This is my theory…

Every culture is different, we are who we are…all women are unique and I think we will start adopting each other’s traits, the more we learn and mix. We just have to be kind to each other and stop judging.